Who's the bananaest?

Happy January 2nd!

2007-01-02T18:00:00.000-05:00

My birthday is today, which marks the official end to the holiday season. I turned 2 today, which means I have a valid excuse for acting up in public. I don't do that very often, but I plan to change that in the coming months. I hope you all had a good holiday season, it's been a busy three months for me. Here's a photo-recap of my holiday experience: (all pictures are clickable)

As we all know, the holiday season begins on October 7th with Daddy's birthday, which is celebrated throughout Bavaria and parts of the United States as Oktoberfest. It is a day for people to get together and drink what appears to be apple juice and play beer bottle bowling in their backyards. (Too much apple juice will make you fall down)

Columbus day follows on October 12th, which is a commemoration of trenchcoat-wearing detectives, and the service they provide to the public. We didn't do much for Columbus day, mainly because we don't know any detectives. Oh, and I took a bath. And Todd and Julia were their respective goofy selves.

Halloween was fun this year, not like two years ago when I went as a cocoon. (I couldn't see a thing) This year Julia and I were "Surf and Turf" which surprisingly few people figured out on their own. We got a lot of "Oh look, a cow and a lobster!" We also got a few "Oh look, a dalmatian and a crab!" We even got a "Wow! A semi-albino jaguar and an alien!" That guy smelled like gin. Oh, and yes, in that picture, that is me eating a hot dog... In a cow costume.

November 2nd was admission day. I tried to get through this holiday without drawing too much attention to myself. I might as well come clean now. Remember how uncle Chris and Aunt Kelly's house stunk for a week, and they finally figured out that something was festering in their teapot? I admit that it was me. I was making my usual tea recipe, which calls for pretend water, pretend tea and pretend cooking. I decided to add one of Julia's dirty diapers to the mix just to see what people's reaction would be. I had the feeling that people weren't actually drinking my tea, they were just pretending. Anyway, I forgot to clean out the pot and it stunk up the house. Oops!

Culture day (November 3rd) was fun. Since this holiday is only celebrated in Japan, I thought it was fitting to go to Moritomo's so I could eat my way through two crab sushi and about a 1/2 pound of mushrooms worth of culture. Julia and I also had a huge glowstick war in the basement. I was red and she was green. I think you can tell who won.

Mommy's birthday was the next holiday. We didn't do a whole lot except go to Moritomo's again and dance around in our basement. When you see fingers in the air in any pictures, that's dancing. I mean index fingers. If you see other fingers, that might not be dancing anymore. That might be Mommy being mad at Daddy.

Thanksgiving is the annual celebration of too much food, and if you're lucky, too much beer and wine. If you're unlucky, it can also be the celebration of too much Twisted Tea. That stuff has been showing up everywhere. Even Mor-Mor's got a case of it in her fridge.

On December 6th, Santa, or rather Saint Nikolaus, paid us a visit at Oma and Opa's house. Once Daddy fills out the required paperwork, Julia and I will be Austrian citizens in addition to being American citizens. That means we get two votes, two Santa's and from what I hear, twice as many presents at Christmas. This year I helped make Christmas cookies. The picture to the left shows me making some of the more delicate variety. Not too much sugar on top, just a pinch!

Anna's Day! December 9th is me day! Don't believe me? Check Wikipedia. If it's there it must be true. Unfortunately, since this holiday is only celebrated in Sweden, I can't participate unless Mommy finds some loophole to make me a citizen there as well.

This is turning into the longest post ever. I'm going to skip over the remaining minor holidays like Republic Day (Burkina Faso), Night of the Radishes, Man Hike (Observed), Christmas and Dick Clark's New Years Rockin Eve and get right to the most important date on the holiday calendar, January 2nd. Well, maybe I should tell you what I got for Christmas. I got a Jumpy House, a black eye, and a metric ton of clothes from Hanna Andersson.

The United States chose to observe my birthday on January 1st this year, so that the working folks like Daddy wouldn't have to go to work with a wicked hangova after Dick Clark's New Years Rockin Eve. We put about 180 kid-hours into the Jumpy House, so it is well broken in. We also found out that it can support at least 5 birthday caked-up kids. The manufacturer's spec recommends that the maximum be only 2 kids of regular craziness. What fun is that? I got a tricycle for my birthday, as well as cubic fathom of clothes and cool toys.

It's been a busy quarter, and it looks like I made my numbers for the year, those being 1, 2 and 3. I know there's more numbers, but I haven't learned them yet. That brings me in just above forecast, which means I break even before taxes. I hope you all had a good fiscal year 2006, if that is when your fiscal years ends, otherwise, I hope you had a good calendar year 2006!

What I did during my summer vacation.

2006-09-15T16:02:00.000-04:00

Well, we went to Europe as you all know by now I'm sure. You've probably seen the pictures already and have already heard all the interesting stories about Mommy and Daddy going paragliding, the twisting mountain passes and the many cities we visited. Some of the cities were older than Mommy and Daddy combined.

So I haven't updated the blog in a while, as if you hadn't noticed. The driving factor in that decision was that having a little sister to play with plus two parents that need constant attention turned out to be more work for me than I anticipated. Not to mention, my legs are rather short, which doesn't inhibit my typing skills, but it does make me slower in getting around. So am I going to blog more in the future? Eh, we'll see. Maybe I'll write a post tomorrow. Maybe not. I think that writing too much dilutes any intended hilariosity. If you want to keep close tabs on what Julia and I are doing, you can go over to Daddy's picture site. Each picture, as I am told, is roughly worth about 1,000 words, so there's about 11 million words waiting for you there. That doesn't even include some of the pictures that were taken with Opa or Papa's camera, which are probably worth at least 1500 words. They are much better than Daddy's Canon A20 dinosaur. (Seriously, that's the name, A20 dinosaur) Anyway, I'm getting off topic. Thanks to all of you who check the blog daily, or several times a day. I won't name names on the latter, but I know who you are.

So what's new? Mommy and Daddy are taking Julia and I are going to our first football game tonight in Laconia. One thing I've noticed is that I could use a trademark catch phrase for ending my posts. Something catchy, short and witty like "Seacrest - out!" Add a comment if you have any good ideas.

Bananaest - out!

Look! A new post!

2006-08-18T09:10:00.000-04:00

Just kidding. Good thing you checked though. Well done.

Sorry for the hiatus

2006-05-12T07:57:00.000-04:00

Sorry for not updating the blog sooner, by my editor was away for a little while and was to busy to help me with the blog. I have hired a new editor who is taking care of this post.

I have been so busy lately. I walk and walk and walk. Julia just stares and smiles at me. I am always trying to teach her new tricks and be a good role model. She does not seem to catch on very quick though, but she is still very cute and I love kissing those chubby cheeks. Recently all the guys in my life have been going places. Daddy went on a long plane ride with Opa and Auntie Andrea to Austria. Daddy's Oma, my great Oma died. Unfortunately, I didn't get to meet her but I have seen pictures. I can't wait to try and make some of her famous recipes when I get a little older.

Papa also went on a long plane ride to Trinidad to go sailing with my Great Uncle Kenny. I wanted to go but I need to take swim lessons first. By the way, I am quite the swimmer. I love diving underwater and kicking my legs. I have been practicing this at the health club with Mommy and Daddy. I can't wait for Uncle Chris to open the pool! I am excited to meet all my relatives this summer when I go on my first trip to Europe. I don't know what the big deal is going there though. I mean, I have been to Epcot! This will be Julia's first plane ride. I hope she is as good as I am on planes!

Two weeks ago, Julia and Todd were baptized. Julia slept through it, Todd cried through it, and I just smiled and directed the choir! What would the choir sound like without me? My cousin Craig is Julia's Godfather and I hear that is why she has such a big belly!

Just the news.

2006-03-24T07:33:00.000-05:00

I rarely just write a blog entry about what's going on with my family. It's usually just a collection of uberfunny stuff, but it doesn't really contain a whole lot of information. It's all fluff. So this week, I'm going to update you on the goings on, funny or not.

I wink at people all the time now, just ask. I can only use my left eye though.
Julia is growing and starting to look around. She watches my DVD player in the car.
I am very close to walking. I am very careful, so I want to make sure I get it right instead of rushing into it and falling down a lot.
Barley has been going to work with Daddy. I'm not exactly sure what she does there- wait, I'm not even sure what Daddy does. Does anybody?
Mommy has been "working in the home". I don't actually see her doing any work though. She spends most of her time changing diapers, feeding and cleaning up. Hopefully she won't get fired.
Daddy has been working on an "awesome" new part of the web site. He made it using HTML, ASP, JavaScript, VBScript, SQL, AJAX, CSS and Access. I don't know what any of that means so it must be pretty cool.
I've been sticking out my tongue at people. It's fun, you should try it.
Julia and Todd are getting baptized on April 30th in Laconia.

That's all the news for now. Oh if, anyone has found my candle snuffer, could you please return it?

Happy St. Patrick's Day

2006-03-17T07:23:00.000-05:00

A quick recap of St. Patrick's days of years past:

493: Saint Patrick, patron saint of Ireland, dies.
1845: The rubber band is invented.
1931: Nevada legalizes gambling.
1959: Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama, flees Tibet and travels to India.
1972: Oma & Opa get married at Gunstock
1981: Daddy first realizes that adults spell things that they do not want kids to understand. The word: "JELLO"
1988: Mommy and Uncle Chris play a feverishly intense game of Super Mario Brothers. Mommy is still bitter about getting stuck with Luigi.
1992: Mommy shows up at school wearing all green clothes and realizes that in High School, that's not cool anymore.
1997: Mommy and Daddy spend time in Keene celebrating "Irish Cultural Awareness Day". One day later, they celebrate "Hangover Awareness Day".
1998: See 1997.
2002: Barley poops in the living room. It's green.
2005: I celebrate my first St. Patrick's day by drinking formula that is dyed green. It ends up all over Daddy's shirt. That's what you get for having such a great idea.
2006: I am helping Julia celebrate her first St. Patrick's day. Daddy is trying to figure out how one would go about dyeing breastmilk green.

Babies sleep a lot.

2006-03-10T18:24:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure what all the hype was about. Julia sleeps for most of the day, and when she is awake, Mommy hugs her so tight that I don't think she can breathe. She also doesn't eat at all. I haven't seen Mommy or Daddy give her a bottle once, much less any bananas or prunes. She won't even poke me back when I poke her. I give her kisses all the time and she just lays there. She doesn't even drool! What kind of self respecting baby can't even pull that off?

We're home!

2006-02-24T16:18:00.000-05:00

Mommy and Daddy brought Julia home from the hospital on Thursday. The back seat of our car is a little more crowded than it used to be, but there is still a little room for Barley among the car seats. Julia looks almost exactly like I did when I was born except that her hair is copper-colored. She is also very well behaved and content like I am.

Mommy's placenta was the talk of the hospital. She had a Vasa Previa which is a rare condition (about 1 in 3000) which is almost always fatal to the baby once a Mommy's water breaks. We were very lucky that Dr. Padin found out about Mommy's special placenta on the morning of Julia's birthday. You can find out more about vasa previas here.

I've been telling Julia about my Blog and telling her that she should get started with hers. I don't know how soon that's going to happen.

A few pictures.

2006-02-20T21:19:00.000-05:00

A few pictures of my new sister: There are more here.

My sister is here!

2006-02-20T16:25:00.000-05:00

My sister and Mommy are resting comfortably. They are both doing well. Julia weighs a little bit more than I did and she is 1/2 inch longer. You can find some pictures of her here: http://marc.handcut.com

Mommy and Julia are taking a nap. Sounds like a good idea.

Julia Lee Herrmann

2006-02-20T15:03:00.000-05:00

Julia Lee Herrmann
5 pounds 12 ounces
19.5 inches
born 2-20-06 2:00 PM

Pictures coming soon here: http://marc.handcut.com

One hour to go...

2006-02-20T12:15:00.000-05:00

I should have a sister in about an hour. Mommy will be going into the operating room at 1:00PM today. The nurses gave daddy a sweet outfit to wear. The doctor said that Mommy has a vasa previa, and that she wouldn't have let her go home after her visit two weeks ago if they had spotted it before. Daddy will send pictures after my sister is here. They will be here: http://marc.handcut.com

I'm tired now. I'm going to take a nap...

Happy President's Day!

2006-02-20T09:33:00.000-05:00

It looks like mommy will have a baby today. It will probably be in the afternoon. I will keep you updated as the day goes on.

I might have a sister on Monday.

2006-02-17T17:11:00.000-05:00

It looks like I might get that little sister I ordered a while back. Mommy and Daddy are going to the hospital on Monday to pick her up. Don't even ask me what her name is because I don't know. Mommy and Daddy won't tell me either. I'm lying. I do know. Mommy told me because she can't keep a secret. She told me to keep it on the DL.

I will be updating the Blog on Monday and Daddy will be adding pictures to the picture site. Oh, and I can stand, sing and act like a dog now.

I definitely have a cousin.

2006-01-30T21:34:00.000-05:00

I have seen my little cousin Todd. He is about half my size, but his feet are almost as big as mine. I was trying to get him to talk to me, but he didn't seem interested. Here's a picture of our first meeting. I know what you're thinking... Awww, two cute babies, but what's with the mullet Anna? I have to admit that it was Daddy's idea. Mommy's water almost broke when she saw him cutting my hair. Words were said. Words that Mommy and Daddy said I shouldn't repeat.

Anyway, I am getting off topic. My cousin is a cute one. I'll have to teach him some of the important tricks all babies need to know, like earmuffs, jazz-hands and my personal favorite, rolling over into you own poop as soon as Mommy takes your diaper off.

I have photographic evidence that makes me almost certain that I have a cousin.

2006-01-30T11:52:00.000-05:00

Here it is, thanks to uncle Chris:

I'm pretty sure I have a cousin, but I haven't seen him.

2006-01-30T10:56:00.000-05:00

Mommy just woke up and she told me all about my new cousin. Apparently I was right about the name and the weight. He is 21 inches long and he looks like uncle Paul. He was born at 4:05 AM January 30th, 2006, which is a good time to be born I guess, but it's no 10:16 PM on January 2, 2005. Pictures coming soon!

I think I have a cousin.

2006-01-30T10:42:00.000-05:00

I think my auntie Erika had a baby this morning around 4 AM. I think it is a boy and I think his name is Todd Andrew. I think he weighed 8lbs 2oz. The reason I'm not sure about this is because I got all of this information second hand. Daddy brought me home so I could get some sleep around 1 AM. Everyone else who was at the hospital was asleep when I woke up so the only information I heard from them was when I woke up for a second as they came back home. I was very groggy so some of my facts may be incorrect. For all I know, I could have understood them wrong and his name is Germain and he weighed 17 lbs. I don't think that's the case since I didn't see any "World's Biggest Baby" headlines on Yahoo this morning. I'm sure I will go to the hostpital to visit my little cousin, and then I will be able to add some pictures.

I have a pink cowboy hat.

2006-01-27T17:56:00.000-05:00

I have a pink cowboy hat. I have three fish. I have a bathroom full of yellow ducks. I like to point at buttons. I like to point at Daddy's watch. I like his ring too. I am a crawling fool lately. I have shoes that help me walk around. I like covering my ears while Mommy watches American Idol. I like to play the drums. I have a napkin named Barley. I have a pillow named Barley. I have a jungle-gym named Barley. I have my own blog. I have a steadily growing fanbase. I smile when I wake up. I pose for ever-increasingly cute pictures. I will be a big sister soon. I will have a real-fo-sho cousin soon. I know baby sign language. I like ice cream. I don't like when it comes out my nose. I like to swim. I like to pee in the pool. I wish Daddy's stock would go back to $30. I have a school named after me. I have my own cell phone. I can count to 1. I love to talk. Did I mention I have a pink cowboy hat?

I am the Queen of Everything!

2006-01-02T13:14:00.000-05:00

For all of you who may think having your birthday a week after Christmas is a bad thing, you have no idea what you're talking about. Besides having some presents wrapped in Christmas paper, it was the best birthday I've ever had! Mommy baked me a 4-layer cake, and I got to play with the top two layers. It was such a nice cake so I just poked it gently with my finger so that it wouldn't be ruined. I've heard that some kids dig right in and start throwing cake everywhere- that is so 2005.

I got lots of gifts, and today Daddy took me snowshoeing with him in my new kid backpack. We walked through the woods for a while and I watched Maggie and Barley playing in the snow. I am taller than Daddy when I'm in the backpack, so it's a nice view!

Later today we are going to pick up some fish for my new aquarium that Mommy got me. That will save Mommy some driving time to Moritomo's and the Doctor's since the only reason we go there is to look at their aquariums.

We had a nice Christmas, Santa brought me lots of stuff. It's a good thing Daddy built that shed. We spent New Year's Eve and my Uncle Chris and Ant Kelly's house. We had near-professional fireworks, and even Johnny Damon showed up! He was still wearing his Red Sox uniform which was a little odd. Maybe all that news about being traded to the Yankees was just a dream, a wonderfully hilarious dream...

Going home...

2005-12-07T15:37:00.000-05:00

I've been eating well today, so the doctors are deciding to send me home. This is good because I am not getting any treatment that I couldn't get at home. I'm not sure exactly what time we will be getting back home, but it will be sometime this evening. See you all soon!

If one more person pokes me...

2005-12-07T09:25:00.000-05:00

I am going to have a serious fit. Once I finally get comfortable, someone else comes along to take my temperature or take my blood pressure. Last night I had enough. I kept beating on my IV long enough until it fell out. They tried to give me another one and they missed, so Mommy and Daddy decided to take me off the IV. I had a nice long sleep without any tubes or cable attached to me. This morning I started to eat a bit more. I saw Dr. Stotland and he said I looked good and that taking out my IV was a good thing. Since I have less fluid it is forcing me to eat more. He said I may go home today. I'm ready to get out of this place, they don't even let you bend your elbows here. That's the strangest hospital rule I've ever heard.

Post #4

2005-12-06T20:35:00.000-05:00

For those of you that are keeping track, this is my 4th post from the hospital. I have had a little formula from a cup. Actually Mommy and I split a cup of formula, but I don't think she was actually drinking. I'm now watching a Winnie the Pooh movie with Mommy. Daddy went to go look for some ice cream for Mommy, and to go do something on the computer. I may go home tomorrow, but we will have to see how well my eating goes.

Doing well.

2005-12-06T12:22:00.000-05:00

I've been moved into a new room in the Pediatric wing and I'm doing very well. I have only one tube still hooked to me (IV) and I've been napping and watching DVDs for most of the day. Later today there will be a visit from a hospital dog, I hope I'm awake for that. They removed the suture in my tounge and that made me feel a lot better. Mommy and Daddy tried to feed me, but I'm not interested in that. My throat still hurts too much. Daddy bought me a dolphin and he has been swimming around my room. It feels like I'm living in an aquarium!

My mouth feels a little better.

2005-12-06T07:43:00.000-05:00

I just woke up from a long night's sleep. I feel a lot better this morning and I no longer need to be hooked up to my oxygen supply. I did get up for a while at 4:00AM to play with my toys and give kisses to my picture of Barley. I did pee on Daddy again... Soon I will be able to eat something and they will move me out of the ICU into another room. If anyone is planning on coming up to Lebanon, could you please bring Mommy and Daddy a few clothes?

My mouth hurts!

2005-12-05T22:27:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to update everyone on my surgery today. I had my cleft palate repaired, my tounge clipped, and had ear tubes put in both ears. The surgery took about 6 hours and I was in a really bad mood afterwards. It's now 10:30 PM and I am in the Pediatric ICU. I'm resting comfortably, and Mommy and Daddy have been letting me sleep on top of them. I peed all over Daddy when it was his turn, which was the highlight of my day. I'm very sleepy and I've got a bunch of tubes and wires connected to various parts of my body. I am doing a lot better than I was a few hours ago. I should be out of here in 1 or 2 nights. I will write again so I can keep you all updated.

Holy crap! Our lawn turned white!

2005-11-29T12:28:00.000-05:00

The weirdest thing happened a few days ago. I woke up last Thursday and saw that our entire lawn had turned white from the greenish-brown color it was the day before. Mommy said something about being lucky to have put the ghetto tires on the car already. As we were getting into the car, I noticed that not only had our lawn turned white, but also the road, the roof of our new shed and some trees as well.

Mommy, Daddy, Barley and I drove to Laconia and everything there was white too. It took us longer than usual, it must have been those ghetto tires slowing us down. Barley went outside for a little while and when she came in, she was all white. No one seemed to mind that our dog had just turned white. Instead, they cooked a huge turkey that weighed 10 pounds more than I did. Adults are weird.

Just when I thought adults couldn't get any weirder, Daddy comes walking through the door with this huge tree! What the? Have you been working on that client COM port for linux feature too much? I thought Mommy was going to have a fit when she saw that tree standing in our living room. Do you know what she did? She decorated it with lights and ornaments! I have to admit, it looks nice, but who does that? Weird parents is who.

Margaret

2005-11-05T18:42:00.000-05:00

I have a cousin! Maggie was adopted by my Ant and Uncle that live just down the road in our pool house. She is a smaller version of Barley. I can't wait til she's big enough to ride!

I think Halloween is the best holiday so far this year!

2005-11-04T14:53:00.000-05:00

Item! Halloween may just be the best holiday in the past 10 months! With only two months left before my first birthday, I don't think any of the remaining holidays could top this. Thanksgetting and Chrismas need to get their act together really quick.

Item! Candy tastes good. I had a few licks from a lollipop and I would recommend this to anyone who's sick of eating peas and sweet potatoes. Mom ate most of my Heresay and Snacker bars. She said the chocolate would rot my lone tooth. I'll learn how to brush, I promise.

Item! People keep asking me about my Blob. Have you written anything lately? I don't know, go look. It takes a lot of effort to type with such small fingers, especially when they are covered in drool. I also need to watch my fair share of TV. Once this season of Surveyor is over, my Thursday nights will be free again. Of course, there's always my Baby Feinstein DVDs for when there's nothing on TV or Mom wants to sleep.

Item! I have no bladder control. I don't try very hard though. My one motivation to hold it is when Mom is watching her soap, The Gays in our Lives, because I know I'll have to sit in my soggy diaper until it is over. Well, my little fingers have typed about as much as they can handle. Check back here next week, I will be doing a review of the SpongeRob SquareDance movie.
[inspiration]

I gots a toof!

2005-10-19T16:29:00.000-04:00

'Sup, G's. Check dis: I wuz sleepin in my crib last night, an' when Ah say crib, Ah don' mean my hizzy, but ma real-fa-sho crib, da one dat ma pops built. So I's sleepin along, dreamin' bout my dogg, an' when Ah say dogg, Ah don' mean no homie a mine, but ma real-fa-sho dogg, The Barls. So I's dreamin', whens all of a sudden BAM, Ah feels like Ah jus' gots clocked in da mouf. I's look around, and Ah don' see nuffin', jus' my Moms and Pops sleepin' in they own bed. Dizzam! What jus' happen? I's yell ta ma mom an' pops and dey git up. Deys peepin' in ma mouf 'n sheeit, an Moms say she find a toof! Now da A-Dogg ain't diggin' dis. Is not like I wuz crying, G's, but da pain wuz killin'. Ma Moms gots me some baby O'jell an dat help. Pops wuz tellin' me dat I gots 19 mo' teef ta go! Dizzam! Ain't no O'jell gonna help wif no 19 teef, I's gonna need a 40 fo dat.

Analogies

2005-10-14T12:23:00.000-04:00

My parents have enrolled me in an SAT prep course, so that I can get into a good nursery school. In my last class, my instructor Mr. Schow, taught us about analogies. There is a section of the SATs that covers this and it terrifies me. The reason analogies get me problems is because I have practically no real world experience with the subject matter. For instance:

BABY POOP is to DIAPER as LOTS OF POOP is to _______

Now how am I supposed to know the answer to that? My only practical experience is with baby poop. For those of you that are curious, the answer was "waste water treatment plant." Here is another one that stumped me:

NOSE is to TISSUE as MOUTH is to _______

I thought I had this one... Barley right? Wrong! Apparently most people wipe food from their mouths with a napkin. Whatever... Not in my house. I did get a few right. Here is one a bunch of people over 20 times my age missed, but I got it right:

ALE is to LAGER as NEW ORLEANS is to ________

The answer is Anchorage, Alaska. That's something that any 9-month-old should know. At least a 9-month-old whose Dad talks to them constantly about the temperatures at which beer should be fermented. It's common knowledge in my opinion.

Damn Yankees!

2005-10-11T17:19:00.000-04:00

"Chop Suey," as my Mor-Mor-Mor likes to call him, couldn't pull it off. Hey, at least they didn't get swept. I didn't actually watch the game, but Dad told me about it the next day. I cried; which is fine given my age.

We had a nice weekend and my new friend Carissa visited from Pennsylvania. Here we are, deeply engaged in a baby-fight, which was more for the pride than the money our Dads were betting. It ended up as a draw since neither of us have the arm strength, nor the will, to punch each other. I would have won though, if she hadn't shaved her head before the fight. Dads have stupid ideas sometimes.

We saw some flooding near our house from the heavy rains we had. To put it in perspective, it was worse than New Orleans when you take into account how small I am. I didn't have to wade through any water, since I insist on being carried everywhere I go. I did take a few baths, however, which is just about the same thing.

I also found out today that my parents ordered a little sister for me to play with. I don't really understand how that works, I think they ordered her off Amazon or eBay. They must be having her shipped via ground because she won't be here until March. That's a long time... She must be backordered.

A look at the numbers that shape my world.

2005-10-10T13:15:00.000-04:00

27.25 - My height, measured in inches.
15,4 - My weight, measured in pounds and ounces.
336 - My top speed, measured in furlongs per fortnight.
7:15AM - The average waking hour for males in my household.
10:45AM - The average waking hour for females in my household.

(I love that dirty water)

Happy Birthday Daddy.

2005-10-07T13:29:00.000-04:00

Dad got a bit older today, although not nearly as Mom is. In fact, Mom is older than Dad and I, combined! I didn't buy him anything because Mom said it would be better if I made something. The only think I can really "make" at this point is poop. Poop is not a very good birthday present, no matter how much effort you put into making it. I decided instead to write some haikus. These little literary gyoza pack just as much punch as a sonnet, without all of the flowery rhyming nonsense.

Happy Birthday Dad
You're not as old as Mommy
Too close to call though

Daddy, you are big
You carry all of my stuff
Mommy carries me

Barley is the best
She washes me with her tounge
I try to lick her

Diaper is leaky
Did you forget to change me?
You must change the sheets

Learning new things.

2005-10-06T11:23:00.000-04:00

I've been dabbling in learning some sign language lately. Mom and Dad have been trying to teach me "bottle" (or milk) like that kid in Meet the Fockers. I do the sign all the time, but mainly just to practice my fine motor skills. I love my hands! My latest trick is shaking my head from side to side which I think is the most hilarious form of comedy in existence. In my opinion, it's funnier than Family Guy doing a spoof on Trailer Park Boys. It's also proven to be funny to my parents as well. I've been getting a lot of strange questions from them lately: "Will the Red Sox win the World Series?" "Will they even win a playoff game?" Mom doesn't seem to laugh when I shake my head, but Dad does. He and I are the only Yankees fans in a family of Red Sox fans. They all think dressing me up in Red Sox gear is the most hilarious form of comedy in existence. Obviously, it is not.

A quick recap...

2005-10-05T17:09:00.000-04:00

Here's a quick recap of my life thus far: At -2 days, New Year's Eve 2004, I made my first trip to Moritomo's. Exactly two days later, I was born. The photographing begins. Every one of my relatives has a digital camera, except my Great Aunt Linda, whose camera takes film and weighs more than I did at birth. The flash is also one of those that needs to be lit with a match. I spend my first summer swimming in the lake and my Ant and Uncle's pool. At their wedding in September, I have a few too many bottles and pass out for a while.

Theme of the day

2005-10-05T16:55:00.000-04:00

Using a pitchfork to eat your dinner.

2005-10-05T15:09:00.000-04:00

I'm the bananaest in an apple tree.

Bananaest? eh?

2005-10-05T14:49:00.000-04:00

So who actually is the bananaest of them all? I am.

It's taken me a little while to get my own blog, and with a little help from my dad, I've managed to set one up. I'll be posting my wonderful adventures with my best friend Barley, as well as pictures of our fun filled days.